To them you are Mommy, keeping in mind what is important

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Hello you fellow weekenders! I am coming to you on this special occasion called Mother’s day to help cheer us all along a little bit. I wrote this article last Mothers day and it first appeared at SheKnows, I wanted to share it with you all today. To them you are Mommy, keeping in mind what is important, I feel like we all get caught up in life, judgement, how we are “supposed” to be as a Mom. But the thing that matters is them, those little (or big) people that call us simply Mom. 
Happy Mothers day all of you lovelies! Enjoy the day, your children, your Mom, Grandma, that strong woman that raised you, whoever it be. And give a little extra love to those crazies that made us a Mom, we are kind of a big deal to them. There is nothing stronger in the world than the Love of  a Mommy. Happy Mothers day!
Moms have the hardest job. I don’t think I need to tell you this; anyone who is raising or has raised kids knows the feeling. We are also told this all the time. Countless articles have been written, posts shared, status updates posted supporting the tough job that is being a mom. I am going to explain something though; the toughest part about being a mom is outside of your home.

Inside the home, with your kids and in your own domain is the easy stuff. When you step out your front door is when things get real. There is so much judgement. Coming from people with no kids, other moms, politicians, the nosy lady down the street, random strangers commenting on your kid in a cape in the grocery store. That is when this whole being a mom thing gets tough.

Somewhere along the line being a mom became about so much more than just being. There is currently a war of words attacking moms who have had C-sections, slinging insults to moms who do or don’t vaccinate their children. Certain ways of parenting now have labels, and you have to pick your side. It can get terrifying and exhausting being a mom out in the world.

But, here is the thing… I am a mom because I have these three children. I am their Mom, not the world’s. This is where each mom’s world is, their children. My kids are 7, 5 and 4. I asked them to list what they liked about me. Here is what they came up with.

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“What do you like about me, about me being your mommy?”

  • You find my blanket
  • You help us
  • I feel loved from you
  • You walk me to the bus
  • You keep us safe
  • You like flowers
  • You have a big heart
  • I like that you married Daddy
  • I like that you decorate our home
  • You talk to us
  • You have sword fights with us (with pretend swords)

I then asked, “What should Mommy do more of? How can I be a better Mommy?”

  • I like you the way you are
  • Play with me more
  • Have more tea parties
  • Don’t make us eat vegetables
  • No more bedtime

My heart melted hearing these things. However, I am not sharing this with you all as a humble brag of how awesome I am. I am simply trying to prove a point, which all of us need to realize. When asked what they like about me not one time did my kids mention how I birthed them, if I breastfed them, if they are fully vaccinated, if they eat organic. Not once did they bring up the style of parenting I am using to raise them. There was no mention of the method we used to put them to sleep as babies, or even any mention of our discipline style.

When I asked them what I needed to improve on it was sweet and simple things. My youngest also mentioned I should learn to skateboard like him. Other than my method of making them sleep and eat vegetables, their only request is to have more of me. They want me. That is it. That is all any of our kids want. Us, their moms. I explained to my oldest about how there are people in the world who like to tell moms what they should be doing, how what they are doing is wrong. I asked her if she cared what they thought. What she said floored me and humbled me. She said “No, we care about only you, Mommy, not everyone else.” It was so clear cut, no hesitation.

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Our kids care about us. They have no knowledge of the mommy wars, word slinging, accusations about who is doing what the best. Whatever the world thinks of you does not matter at all. Those children who you love matter. To them you are the best feeling, most comforting hug, safe haven, giggle attacker, ouch kisser. You laugh with them, teach them, encourage them, force feed them vegetables. Your kids, the people that actually call you Mommy are the ones who matter. Because to them, you are the absolute best mommy.

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When it comes to Mother’s Day you need to remember one thing, for this day celebrating us, as well as all year long. We are moms because of them. Those little ones who only want us. The voices, reprimands and judgement should mean nothing. Because to the world we are just a woman who is misguided and needs help doing the right thing. To our kids, we are simply their world.

Remember that when you are feeling attacked, when people give you a side eye because you’re parenting differently than them. Just look to those children and hold to the truth that all those kids care about is you.

To them you are Mommy, keeping in mind what is important. Be sure to enjoy your day, celebrate what you have acomplished, and the love you have in your life. I hope you are having a wonderful day! I am off to spend time with my trio of Littles and the many amazing Mom’s in my life. 

Emily

       

Here are some more stories about family I have written

 

 

41 Comment

  1. So sweet, Emily! I’m not a mommy yet – but I look forward to being one someday!

    1. Emily says: Reply

      Thanks Heather! It is an amazing thing to experience 🙂

  2. This is a great blog post! It is so easy to be hard on ourselves as a Mom. You are right, loving our children to the best of our abilities is the most important thing we can do as mothers…. And being a mother is one of the greatest job we will ever have.

    1. Emily says: Reply

      I am so happy you liked this!

  3. Sarah says: Reply

    Beautiful written, Emily! As a mom-to-be, I really enjoyed reading this. It is so important to keep perspective…

    1. Emily says: Reply

      So exciting to be having a little one soon! Enjoy every moment, it goes soooo fast. I know people say that all the time, but it is very true.

  4. This is such a beautiful post Emily! Very inspiring! Thanks for sharing!

    1. Emily says: Reply

      Thanks Michelle!

  5. I love the idea of asking the kids how I could be a better mommy. Thanks for the reminder that it doesn’t matter what others think about us as moms it is what our little ones think of us.

    1. Emily says: Reply

      It was a fun thing to hear from them, they are the ones that matter anyways. I hope you had a great Mothers day!

  6. maria @closetohome says: Reply

    Now that Mother’s Day is over I need to not think about what I did not get from my kids, I was only looking for nice gestures. I think they need to do these things more often not just one day a year.

    1. Emily says: Reply

      I agree, we can be celebrated a little more than once a year 🙂

  7. Stephanie Bonds says: Reply

    Even though I read this last year, it was wonderful to read again. How well you put our lives as Mom’s in writing. You amaze me, you are my daughter, my first born and even though you are grown and a Mother of your own children I remember your birth like it was yesterday! Emily this Mother of yours is so proud of you and also your wonderful husband and those beautiful grand children of mine! I love you and could not be more proud of you!!!

    1. Emily says: Reply

      Thank you Mom!

  8. So sweet. Happy belated Mother’s Day!

    1. Emily says: Reply

      Thank you so much!

  9. kallee says: Reply

    What a sweet post and I love the pictures!

    1. Emily says: Reply

      Thanks!

  10. This is so sweet! I love asking my kids how I can be a better mom.

    1. Emily says: Reply

      Thanks! It was fun to hear what they thought of me as their Mom, really special to do with the kids.

  11. Being a Mom is not easy….and not everyone will be happy with your decisions. I really don’t get some of the reactions people have to c-sections….I had 2 and so did my daughter. She is a GREAT MOM…and I like to think I was too…and an awesome Gramma. People really have to stop the judgement!!

    1. Emily says: Reply

      I agree, I am shocked by how people have an opinion on any form of birth. It is what it is and everyone does things differently. It is so nice to have support from other strong Mamas!

  12. Nicole says: Reply

    No more bedtime! Haha 🙂 This is a great reminder- we aren’t the world’s mom- just our OWN kids.

    1. Emily says: Reply

      Yes! I loved that he said that, he speaks the truth I am sure and I am not going to go along with that advice of no bedtime. #sorrynotsorry 🙂

  13. Amanda says: Reply

    What a perfect post. I am the mom of my kids… no one can do it better and no one can tell me what’s best for them!

    1. Emily says: Reply

      Yes! Exactly! I am so happy you liked this.

  14. Censie says: Reply

    Perfectly written. What a blessing it really is to be a mom. I am amazed at how fast the years go. They grow up to fast!

    1. Emily says: Reply

      It goes so fast! Somewhere between tiny newborns, diapers, potty training, love giggles and tantrums my kids grew up. Don’t blink!

  15. Kelly says: Reply

    This reminds me of a video I saw recently, where an interviewer asked groups of parents “If you could have dinner with anyone, who would you choose?” They were all naming people like Nelson Mandela, Gandhi and so on. Then they showed the parents videos, where the interviewers had asked their children the same question – all the kids said “Mom and Dad – I love it when we all eat together”.

    It’s just like you said – the one thing kiddos really want is more of us.

    1. Emily says: Reply

      Oh wow, that is so sweet! I have not seen the video but it gives me chills just thinking about it. All they want is us!

  16. This is so sweet! I’m not a mum yet, but I see frequently the pressures mum’s are put under on social media; how they should parent, whether or not they breastfed, where baby should sleep… Everything these days seems to become some big drama when it needn’t be. The most important thing is that your kids are happy!

    1. Emily says: Reply

      It is crazy what people think they are allowed to have an opinion on. Thanks for the support!

  17. Milena says: Reply

    Great post. I love to hear what kids have to say about their parents and what they find important. I like you felt the need to clarify that the sword fighting swords weren’t real swords-LOL!

    1. Emily says: Reply

      Of course I had to clarify, you never know what might ruffle peoples feathers 🙂

  18. No more bedtime 🙂 <3 Hehe, my kids would want the same! Lovely post. 🙂

    1. Emily says: Reply

      When did bedtime become a childhood enemy? I love to sleep 🙂

  19. What a great post! Being a mom is difficult sometimes, but it is wonderful!

    1. Emily says: Reply

      So wonderful!

  20. This is wonderful! Such a nice reminder.

    1. Emily says: Reply

      Thanks! I am happy you liked it!

  21. my heart melted reading your post, so sweet <3 being a mom is wonderful, happy mother's day

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